In four short weeks I’ll turn 38, God willing.
I’m bewildered. I remember my 7th birthday. That was 31 years ago guys! I’m finding it hard to wrap my head around this getting older thing. I used to look at my children and wish for time to stay still, they were growing too quickly and time was moving too fast, and now, looking at my own life, the same applies to me. Although, I don’t want time to stay still, I just want to stop getting older. I want to be able to use the wisdom of my age to live a life filled with better decision making. Only life doesn’t work like that…..does it?
If I turn this whole thought process on its head, I’m thankful that the Lord is allowing me to see these advanced years, because many do not. I am blessed and highly favoured of God. He opened my blind eyes and bought me into a deep, life changing, relationship with Him. It came at a cost, but He is walking me through this thing. Every. Single. Day. He has blessed me with three amazing children, my health, my sanity, my strength, a home, a car, a teaching qualification that I’m on the cusp of obtaining….just to clarify, I follow Jesus because of WHO He is, not WHAT He gives, but His very nature is to bless His children. I may not be given everything I want, but He gives me the things He knows I need for my good and His glory! Praise Him!
Getting older, when you have made mistakes that hugely impact on your life’s path in a challenging way is tough, especially when you feel as though your children are suffering as a result too. I thank God that despite all my doubts, regrets and insecurities He still makes time to show me I am loved, I am blessed and I am His. Thank You Lord.