Hello beautiful people. It’s been a while. I’m really hoping this is the last time I use that term on this blog. The Lord is heavily impressing upon me the need to share the truly miraculous power He is manifesting in my life. He is the God of miracles, the God of more than enough, the God of peace, of wholeness of exceedingly and abundantly. I’m so excited by my God. He will not allow me to contain what He is doing within my life and so I will obey and pour out for His eternal glory. PRAISE HIS WONDERFUL NAME FOREVER!!!
Sooo…you may be wondering what the title of this particular entry pertains to. I won’t keep you in suspense. It’s an acronym for the words ‘Long Distance Love’ – yep! Wanted to create a bit of drama…lol. How do you think I did? I’m smiling broadly as I write because I’m enthralled by what the Lord is downloading into my spirit. For many months I’ve felt in limbo with the direction my life is going in. I’ve felt I’ve not had much more to say or write on this blog, but I’m sensing the Lord shifting and shaking me! Hallelujah!
Let’s get into it then. This long distance love thing. It’s not for the faint hearted, let me tell you, BUT GOD. As you all know I am in a godly courtship. If you don’t know, you can get up to speed via my previous posts. In case you were wondering, hence the title of this post, our relationship is long distance. We live about a 2 hour drive away from each other, which in and of itself is not too big of a deal, but when you throw into the mix 5 children between us, busy careers, running households and everything else that goes on in between, things can get sticky…really quickly. So I’m sharing a few things I believe have helped us to navigate this beautiful, yet sometimes challenging season we find ourselves in.
This is SO important. Communication has not always been my strong point. Not in terms of not having things to say, because believe me I’ve said plenty in the past. But with Jesus at the centre of this relationship and the Holy Spirit guiding and framing my thoughts, I have found that I’ve improved so much in this area. My words are seasoned with salt because now I spend more time listening to what is being said, in a bid to understand the heart behind the words that are being spoken, instead of jumping to conclusions, making assumptions, or being offended. I now find myself asking more questions to glean more insight into why my partner may think or behave in a certain way. What has happened in his past? What has triggered a particular thought or action? God has truly helped me in this area. When I ask Him for wisdom and understanding with regards to His son, He is gracious to reveal things to me which bring peace and understanding instead of frustration and disappointment. Holy Spirit You are wonderful. What makes this even more special is that my partner recognises these qualities within me. He always comments on my ability to listen and understand and I give GOD the glory as it is His spirit at work within me. Hallelujah!
Friends, always consult the Father with reference to your significant other, especially when feelings of dissatisfaction or frustration arise. He knows the very essence of your partner, they are His creation. You’ll be amazed at what He will show you, if you just ask in prayer.
Being long distance can wreak havoc when trying to build intimacy. We have found that being intentional about speaking regularly and organising frequent dates, regardless of our often busy and complex schedules, has gone a long way towards making us feel secure within our courtship. If you’re anything like me, a relationship means doing life with someone. You see them on a daily/very regular basis, (quality time is definitely my love language), you do mundane, as well as exciting things together and because you spend so much time in one another’s company, an inevitable bank of personal jokes and memories are forged which only the two of you are privy to. I love all that, so being intentional goes a long way in countering the physical distance by bridging the gap through emotional intimacy, which goes back to communicating. Regularly. Be it talking on the phone, texting, emailing, sending letters. Letting them know that you are thinking about them. That you care about them. That you are there for them, despite the physical distance.
DON’T RENEGE ON PLANS
This links into my previous point of being intentional. When you make plans, do your best to follow through on them. This shows you are serious about the time you spend with eachother. My partner and I are committed to making plans and sticking to them. We know that the moments we spend together in this season are not as frequent as we’d like, which makes our dates all the more precious, so we do everything we can to protect that time. Of course, because we are parents, things do and have cropped up, which has meant meet ups have had to change or be cancelled, sometimes at very short notice. However, because our individual situations are so very similar, we have a supernatural grace for each other. Our past experiences and our subsequent current circumstances have blessed us with an extra layer of understanding towards one another when things don’t go as planned. Who but the Lord could do such a thing? Creating beauty from brokenness. Thank You Father.
ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER
Not seeing the face of the one you love, or being in their presence as often as you’d like, can get down right hard at times. Yes there’s face time, but I’m not really a fan. I find it so awkward…. *sigh* Encouraging each other and being supportive of one another is so important. Sometimes the distance and the inability to see your partner as frequently as you’d like, for whatever reason, can start you questioning if you’re even in a relationship at times if you’re not careful, so it’s really important to remain positive, keep pressing into JESUS and keep reminding each other how far you’ve come. Gratitude also goes a long way. My partner and I often find ourselves marvelling at how blessed we are to have found each other. Friends, lest you forget we met at the height of the pandemic. God brought together two complete strangers, who He knew were on similar trajectories, whose pasts were so similar, who although very different, were somehow so intrinsically the same in so many ways. Please don’t tell me my God can’t do IMPOSSIBLE things! WOW LORD!
STAY PRAYED UP
This is very important. Prayer must form the bedrock of your relationship. Jesus HAS TO BE IN THE CENTRE. This is something we are continuing to build upon more and more. It is VERY necessary, let me explain why. When you are in a long distance relationship, there is a tendency for emotions to run sky high when you see each other, if you get my meaning *blushes*. So it is important to set clear boundaries and ask Holy Spirit for His help to empower you to honour those parameters. We are a Christian couple. Sex before marriage is not God’s best for our lives. We know this. We understand this. Yet still it is hard. We’ve both experienced first hand the devastation and brokenness sex outside of marriage brings. Our beautiful children are a constant reminder of why the Christian covenant of marriage is so important for the rearing of the next generation and the expansion of God’s Kingdom on earth. Do not misunderstand me, our children are an absolute blessing and we would not be without them, after Jesus, they have been the making of us. However, speaking for myself and not for my partner, although I’m certain his sentiments are the same, it grieves my soul when I think about my spiritual blindness and how this led me to make decisions which have negatively impacted my children. Sex outside of marriage left all of us uncovered in more ways than one. Nevertheless, we know we are made right through Jesus Christ, who redeems and restores when we repent of our wrong doing, turn away from a life of sin and turn towards Him and His righteousness. It doesn’t make the walk any easier however and so we pray. Pray for protection for love not to be awoken before it’s time. For desires to be dampened until the bridegroom receives his bride. In all honesty, it is a struggle, I’m sure you’ve gathered this by now, based upon the number of times I’ve used the words ‘struggle’ or ‘really hard’ in this paragraph alone *eek*. Nonetheless we continue to STAND and TRUST JESUS. That He will make a way just like He always does. There is a purpose for all seasons. Rejoice and be glad.
I hope my musings are of help to couples who are courting or singles about to embark on this season. My prayer is that you will continuously look to Jesus. The author and finisher of our faith. He is faithful.