From the age of 18 and three quarters sex was an activity I freely indulged in outside of marriage and I enjoyed it. It filled me with self worth (or so I thought) knowing that I was the object of a man’s desire.
I equated sex with some form of love.
It was only after my first and second relationship failed then all the dalliances in between and of course the disappointment and pain of the break up with my children’s father that I began to understand that sex is a sacred gift to be unwrapped by God’s best for your life.
The act of love making is so profoundly intimate, so soul connecting and emotion inducing, I am left bewildered by the reality I used to give away this priceless gift so readily.
The world truly knows how to take the blessings of God and reduce them to everything He never intended them to be.
That which is perfect the enemy redefines and cheapens in his wicked ploy to kill, steal and destroy. This is indeed a war.
How many times have you heard about someone turning to drink, drugs, sex, self harm, even suicide as a result of a broken heart?
In my past life, I would drown my sorrows and indulge in boozy, sin-filled nights out with friends to escape my despair.
Thank God for Jesus!
This time around it is different and it is all because of HIM. I have been born again and made new. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and I hold fast to my purity because it is wrapped up in whom I belong. Jesus.
For three years no man has entered my body. A body that gave birth to three children has been sanctified by His grace. The Lord has indeed restored and renewed my soul.
A life of celibacy, although very hard at times has helped me to realise my true self worth. I am worth more than just sexual companionship. Sex outside of marriage muddies the waters of a relationship.
I realise now, that all my relationships before Christ, were based on physical, fleeting emotions. There was no real intimacy or oneness. There was no real friendship or companionship because sex had superseded and drowned out all those things.
Once the sex fizzled out and the cold light of day flooded in, there was no true love at the core to weather life’s storms.
In 1 Corinthians 13 we are given the definition of love.
‘Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.’
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7 KJV)
None of my romantic relationships have ever reflected these truths, but as I grow in my Saviour He has given me the heart and mind to recognise this type of love, and when it is awakened I will embrace it and cherish it and glorify my King of kings. He is able.