A year ago to the day, I discovered that my ex had gotten his girlfriend of a few months pregnant and she was already nearly four months gone.
What you need to understand is that we had only split up the September before, so for this new situation to be presented to me on top of the fact that he had already moved on so quickly made me feel completely devastated and utterly rejected all over again.
I didn’t want to write about this or remember it to be honest, but as I woke up this morning the memory stood firm in my mind. But unlike other times I wasn’t filled with a knot of hurt and angst instead I feel a steadfast peace that God has great plans for my children and I despite what our circumstances may look like.
I have come a long way friends. Praise God.
I no longer really ponder the ‘why’s’ and ‘what if’s’, instead I press forward to the mark of my higher calling. What’s done is done and my joy and hope is found in Christ, not the outcome of my relationship status.
The Lord knows what is best for me and my children and he has blessed us with a season of togetherness, healing and growth, despite the monumental changes which have taken place all around us.
When I look back to this time last year, I was a hurting, angry and bewildered mess. Bereft that the man I loved (for nine years) and who fathered my children could move on so rapidly, but then this is what the spiritual blindness of sin does. The enemy seeks to kill, steal and destroy and when we are focused completely on ourselves, our own pleasure and ‘comfort’ is all that matters.
The crazy thing, is that the choices we make in our state of spiritual blindness will always end up harming us. I know. I was that person and I am still living through the consequences.
My heart grieves for the path my ex has chosen to take. I pray The Lord is able to touch His heart the way He did mine. Not so that we can be restored, but so His soul can be saved. That is what is important here. Our eternal destiny, not our temporary circumstances.
I thank God that He has graced me with a heart to forgive and move on. That He has blessed me with the strength and the spiritual eyes to see beyond the things which make life seem not worth living. He has made a way, when there seemed to be no way. Hallelujah!
I’ll leave you with some encouraging scriptures and some photos from a road trip my children and I had over the weekend with my sister and some friends from church. (My sister, who took most of the pics usually takes great photos, but it seems her anointing was a bit off this time..lol…sorry sis)…
God really is awesome friends, and if you will allow Him to renew your mind and see the GOOD in your situation, no matter how hopeless it may seem, He will fill you with JOY unspeakable.
‘And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.’
‘But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;’
‘While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.’
‘And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee.’