I’ve been in such a reflective mood lately. Pondering over my life and all the what if’s. As you get older, it gets easier to identify the things you wish you’d done differently, because, of course, there’s more to look back upon.
When I look back on my life there are several key things I wish I’d known or done differently.
It’s better to approach relationships with an eternal and not a short term view. I would have saved myself A LOT of heartache. Not that I ever entered into a relationship thinking it would end, but I never looked at the far reaching implications of what being in a relationship meant. It was always about the here and the now. The immediate companionship and sexual gratification.
Nobody really tells you that with what looks like the good, comes a whole lot of bad. When you speed into relationships and give yourself to another person without properly knowing who they are and what their life experiences have made them to be, you’re pretty much sitting on a ticking time bomb of disappointment, heartbreak and despair.
I wish I’d spent time getting to know myself and who I truly am, before expecting someone to come along, whisk me off my feet and make what I deemed to be a mediocre life a phenomenal one. With age has certainly come wisdom and I have learned that peace, joy and contentment is an inside job. It begins with ME.
It is only since becoming a born again Christian that I truly began to understand that only CHRIST can make me whole. Not another human being.
I have to learn how to love and accept myself before I can ever expect anyone else to. If I don’t understand me, how can I expect to understand you?
Wow, I could go on for ever with this point, but the bottom line, is that I am no longer looking for someone to complete me or make my life ‘better’, I already have that in Jesus. What I am now seeking is to create friendships which enable me to demonstrate the love of Christ and if and when God sees fit to send one of His sons to find me, I will be in a position to understand God’s design for the Christian relationship. A relationship that is centred upon the joint love of GOD, above all else, and the pursuit of the marriage covenant to glorify and reflect who GOD is. Hallelujah!
Secondly, I wish I’d had more of a focus where my career was concerned. At a very young age I wanted to be a teacher, then I wanted to be an actress, then a dancer, then a TV presenter, then I wanted to be a journalist, then work for a magazine….phew….looking back I was absolutely all over the place.
I would encourage my younger self to maybe hone in on a specific profession and work my way towards being the very best I could be in that field. I know life has a very funny way of re-arranging our very best plans, but I can’t help thinking that if I’d had more focus on where my true passion lies and where it could take me I would be a lot further on in my career than I am now.
Don’t get me wrong God is such a miracle worker that He can take the most topsy turvy, upside down, poorly executed situation and still make something beautiful out of it, He’s doing it for me, right here and right now….it’s just upon reflection it’s so easy to see where wrong turns were made…
oh hindsight, you are such a curious thing….
In spite of all the dead ends and wrong turns, there have been lessons in abundance. This is what makes life so majestic.
I hope I’m able to pass on the lessons I’ve learned to my children so they are able to prepare for their futures better than I did. I will of course continue to teach them that trusting God is paramount. He is the one who equips us with the tools to pursue the desires of our heart, I pray I will be able to teach my children to make the very best of what The Lord has blessed them with. For His glory.