It’s so easy to say that Jesus is your everything, your all in all. If I can be honest with you, it’s not everyday I behave as though Jesus is my everything. I constantly have to battle to put Him on the throne of my heart. Often I can get distracted by other things, like talking to people about my problems rather than talking to God, allowing anger and irritation to quench my spirit, so I begin operating in my flesh and things get said and done which cause embarrassment, shame and provide absolutely no glory to my Lord and saviour. Thank God for repentance. His grace and mercy push me to identify my weaknesses and strive to change to become more like Him.
Thank God that He never gives up on me, even when I’m ‘relaxing’ by scrolling through my phone for the millionth time or playing another addictive level of a game on..yes you guessed…my phone. I have to battle to make time for praying, reading my bible, spending time with my children, because my selfish heart yearns for quiet time to do mindless things like scrolling through my phone; looking at and reading about the lives and times of others.
Thank God, that He is God!! He is so omniscient that he will put me into situations that force me to call upon Him and forsake all others! Hallelujah!! Take for instance my recent trip to Barbados with my children. I’d planned and booked it last October and knew full well I’d have to fly out on my own with them. At the time the thought was exciting, but as the days drew nearer I began to grow fearful. I’m not the best flyer, so this coupled with the fact that I was taking my three young children on my own thousands of miles away began to fill me with the deepest dread. I had so many sleepless nights thinking about how I was going to conquer this mountain, thinking about what if I lost one of my children, what if the plane crashed… the negativity rushed in like a flood. But thanks be to Jesus Christ, my husband. I began to cast my cares and my troubles on Him. Every piece of anxiety I shared with Him, I spoke it out loud in prayer and asked Him to strengthen me in my weak places. His perfect love casts out fear and I asked for Him to pour out His spirit of love, power and mental stability to protect me from the attacks of the adversary!! My God is so faithful and so true that He emboldened me to walk a path I in no way felt equipped to walk. It was not easy and even the night before the flight I was plagued with thoughts to cancel the whole trip, my children were playing up badly and again I doubted how I would cope. I broke down and cried like a baby. This was too much. I couldn’t do it. Praise God for His saints, my on fire for Jesus family members who prayed me through the darkness. Praise God for reminding me of how far I’ve come. Friends, three years ago I was a mess. I couldn’t leave the house, the shortest journeys filled me with the most dread. My heartache and pain had manifested itself so deeply within my soul that my body began to attack me. Nightly heart palpitations that had me struggling for breath and kept me awake all night, they made me shake all over, lose a ridiculous amount of weight and believe death was on my doorstep. BUT GOD!!! He is my deliverer, my restorer, my way maker. He has strengthened me to do impossible things because WITH HIM ALL THINGS SHALL BE POSSIBLE!! Glory to God!!
I went from being totally broken, feeling completely hopeless and fearing the worst to being restored and having faith that God is working out ALL THINGS for my good.
What Jesus has done and is doing through me is a miracle. I love Him. His patience with me blows my mind. My children and I went to Barbados for three whole weeks, our family came out a week later and joined us and we all had theeee best time, because God is and ALWAYS will be with us and for us. As He provides me with yet another testimony of His awesome power, I can do nothing but proclaim His magnifence. He is so faithful! Always guiding, encouraging, manifesting, delivering. Wow God! I’m so excited by You!!