I’m learning to become satisfied with what God has given me.
Since my salvation almost 6 years ago, I feel like I’ve been waiting for a defining moment where God is going to suddenly flick a switch and BAM!! My whole life will be ‘together’…..
…No more singleness, no more having to rely on my parents or family for their companionship and emotional support, no more having to navigate feelings of inadequacy and despair when the mantle of single parenting becomes too heavy to uphold…no more important life decisions to make on my own….
The Lord is revealing to me that the life I am living right now is the one He has called me to live. I must make the most of it and make it count. Singleness may seem hard, but being in a relationship or married is just as hard. No season or situation is without its test. If Jesus Christ is your Lord and personal Saviour, He will never leave you, nor forsake you, so whatever walk of life you find yourself in, high on the mountain top or deep in the valley, He will be there, calling you, shaping you, ushering You into His life giving presence. Hallelujah!!
My life and yours can never be compared to anyone else’s. As a Christian I can see where I have been buying into the lie of what a ‘Christian life’ should ‘look like’. Like many of us, I am forever looking at the ‘happily’ courting and the ‘happily’ marrieds, gazing wistfully at those that travel ‘every week’, have glittering careers, magnificent houses, angelic babies, cute children, the healthiest diets, the most awesome fitness regimes, devotional times, ministries…it’s endless…..
He whispers that I should not be looking at them but at HIM. What He has done in their life He does not want to replicate in mine. He is the God of new things. There is no limit to His power.
“Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”
I can not expect my life to follow the pattern of others I am not them. My life and yours are incomparable to anybody else’s. Just because something happened for them, be it good or bad, by no means does this suggest it will happen for me or for you and why should it? I am my own unique person, you are too. We are fearfully and wonderfully made by The One who holds our lives in His hands.
As I get older, I do sometimes mourn the lack of godly love and intimacy that comes from a God ordained covenant. Most of my thirties have been spent battling to undo all the bondage that had entangled me from years of doing things without God. I know this is a process and God’s timing is perfect, but it still gets hard, painful and lonely.
Then God reminds me, the godly love and intimacy I crave can be found in Him. He has been pouring out His love upon me, long before I ever loved Him back. This is what Christ’s love looks like. So as I strive to look more like Him, I must continue to fight the good fight of faith no matter the cost.