God never ceases to blow my whole mind….I’m serious. His ways are unfathomable and I remain in complete awe of Him.
For the past few weeks and months I’ve been feeling unsettled about a whole host of things. If you have read my last few blog posts, you’ll see I’ve been battling hard to find joy in the midst of my struggles…BUT GOD!!
Lately, I’ve been stirred up to meet my exes partner. Now, as all who are familiar with my blog and my story will know, my ex, who also happens to be the father of my three children, moved on quite quickly after we split almost 5 years ago. He and his girlfriend went on to have a daughter who is nearly 4 and recently welcomed another daughter a few months ago. My children see their Dad several times a week and sleep over most weekends. This of course means they have been around my exes partner a lot. A. Whole. Lot. What was starting to irk me was that in 5 years I’d never properly met her or had a conversation with her and yet here she is playing a significant part in raising/looking after my children on a weekly basis. I was starting to get quite angry about it. Not at her, but the situation and my lack of power to do anything about it…
Admittedly I don’t think I was ready to meet her, because there was still a lot I was dealing with inside myself. I believe God has been doing a mighty work inside my heart to heal me, strengthen me and help me to realise that in Him, I am more than enough and so yesterday, when out of the blue the Lord opened the door for me to meet this lady, I walked right through it. And PRAISE GOD it was fine.
I had gone to collect my children from their Dad’s as I often do, but I always wait in the car and he brings them down. Yesterday was different. Despite telling my ex I’d be there at 7:30pm, when I arrived he wasn’t picking up his phone or responding to my text message so for the first time, in 5 years, I got out of my car and walked to their front door. He’d just got out of the bath and my son was about to get out. He said they’d be 5 minutes and closed the door on me. My eldest opened it again. I could see Leah (not her real name) sitting in the chair with her newborn baby and I called out ‘Hello’, she replied and came to the front door with the baby who was fast asleep in her arms and looks exactly like my ex. I told her so and she agreed. She invited me in and told me to excuse the mess I told her, ‘Pleeeease! I have three. I know the struggle.’ Her friend was sitting down in the living room too. It was just the slightest bit awkward but not horrible by any means. She seems to be a really nice woman and when I asked if my children are well behaved she said yes, and when I asked if she’s sure, she assured me that she’s been around naughty children and mine aren’t…phew…I must be doing something right. Thank You Jesus.
I met their eldest daughter the day before when my ex bought her along to pick our son up from school. She is a complete cutie. I had a brief conversation with her and my heart has warmed to her immediately, same with Leah. There is no anger or animosity, no jealousy or ill will. Just peace and love. That’s Jesus. I’m excited about what the future holds. I’d like to have more opportunities to speak with Leah and for the children to spend more time together they all share the same father after all.
Like I said friends, I’m in awe at the work of God. A situation which caused me one of the greatest hurts in my life is now beginning to bear the fruit of joy, peace and love.
Lord you knew how much I wanted and needed this meeting to happen and only you could have orchestrated this in such a timely and peaceable manner. There is still a long way to go, but I trust You to unfold the path in which I should follow. I’m excited by You Lord. Your way truly is perfection.