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I believe I am walking through a season of testing.

I believe the Lord is testing my faith to see if I really trust and believe in His promises for my life. 
It’s hard.

By nature I am a very modest person. I am not one to boast about my achievements to any and everybody. I steer clear of self-promotion. 

If anything, I’m the type of woman who constantly doubts her own abilities in the belief that remaining humble and unsure will lesson the blow, should I fail.

The Lord is telling me this is a defeatist attitude and it must stop in the name of Jesus!

His word says; I am more than a conqueror. He tells me that His strength is perfected in my weakness. His word proclaims that goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, because I dwell in Him….

….so why must self doubt creep into every nuance of my life? 
*sigh*

Hebrews 11: 6 says;

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Sometimes I feel like the Lord is entrusting me with too much. I can’t do all that He wants me to do on my own, and yet He keeps on reminding me I am not alone. He is always with me. It is He that is my husband; Christ Lord Jesus. The One who never breaks my heart, never lets me down, never leaves me nor forsakes me. He will always be there for me and I need to cling onto this truth with every ounce of who I am. 

There are a number of exciting yet daunting challenges on the horizon. Living completely on my own with my children as my brother moves onto pastures new. I find myself remembering all that God has brought me through to get my children and I to this point, so when I feel like I won’t be able to make it on my own, I remember His faithfulness to us and that He is a good, good GOD!  

Then in the summer my children and I will be flying to the West Indies on our own. This should be such a gloriously, exciting time, especially as it’s been several years in the making…..but unfortunately I’m not the best when it comes to flying, (especially for eight and a half hours) and my eldest, although she has flown once before when she was a baby, has mentioned her nervousness, add to that my two youngest who have never flown before……all I can say is that another adult to help balance everything out would have been wonderful….BUT GOD!! I know He is a provider and a way maker and He will send His angels to guide and comfort us as we embark on our overseas adventure to the land of my earthly father.

I read something so profound yesterday which I know was a word from God especially designed for me:

‘If you want to know where God is taking you, look at the lessons He’s teaching you.’

I am going to ponder on this because the Lord is teaching me so much in this season. But as always, the main focus is for me to depend fully on Him. The situations He is placing me in will not allow me to do anything but look to Him. I am so thankful I have You Jesus.

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